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Happy New Year ...

or: That's what friends are for


Here we are 2006. I hop you all had a nice evening. Even though I didn?t expect it, I had a good time, too.
Actually I wanted to spent the evening alone on my own but with my two bunnies after this huge row and splitting up with Seba. But my beloved family didn?t think so. Claudia called first and tried to persuad me to come along with them to a party because in her opinion I should get other thoughts over there. I didn?t accept at once. A few minutes later I talked to Kaah and suddenly I felt like I really had to go.
So after a bubble bath Oliver came around and took me to Frank and Claudi. While driving we spoke about relationships and decided to found the ?Club of Broken-Hearted? for tonight. At Frand and Claudi?s we waited for Marion and after she?d arrived we all squeezed into the car and went to the location of Michi?s party.
It was a nice place. An empty Apartment with just a few seats, couches and tables in Biedermeier style and a lot of candles over all. And I had so much fun with my friends ? yes I really have friend! Sandra used to be my best friend at school, and when we are together we can still be so silly and crazy. And then there is Kaah. We still are very close, though our lives have changed. And of course there is my best mate: Claudi. Even though she?s my cousin, she?s also my best friend. I know that I could come to her with any problem and she would listen and try to help me. Like her boyfriend Frank would...
One hour to midnight Claudia called all of us to her special quiz of the evening. A sense of touch game. There had been five tubes in which you couldn?t look in but we had to grasp in and guess what?s inside. And Claudia can be so mean and nasty. I was the second to do this and I guessed all things right:

1. jelly baby noodles (Gummi-Schn?rre)
2. a pine cone
3. a pine twig
4. powder worms (very ugly: echte lebende Mehlw?rmer)
5. a dildo

I think you all can imagine what a laugh was the last one!
At midnight we watched the fireworks and I felt a mixture of sadness and happiness that I had to cry when Claudi was hugging me and I told her how much I like her. She also was near tears... Though I missed Seba. So I started to drink, reveived SMS and calls from other friends and waited for a a call or message from him. He called and I felt a bit better, but it only worked until the next day...
I don?t know what it?s going to be but I think that we won?t be together again. Maybe it?s better that way but I just feel very down because of all.
New Year?s Eve and the statement that I wouldn?t have friends made me think about it all. And liek I wrote before: I have friends. Life just changed us. We are not the young ones anymore, don?t meet for going to disco or going out. All of us have other life styles by now, live with their boyfriends, go to work the whole day and don?t think about calling each other. But when we meet, it?s still there. We all feel and just know it...


Song of the Day: Alanis Morissette - Crazy

1.1.06 16:21


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Not alone anymore ...


... at least at lunch time.
Because God sent me an angel: Oliver! Oli is a friend, works at the bank at which I have my account and just broke up his relationship, or better say marriage. He used to work at a branch but now he got a promotion and has been moved up to the central office. For that reason we're able to spend lunch time together and that is very good as I dislike to spend this with collegues. Don't know why I don't like that, maybe because I see them all the time at work.
Anyway, we went for a drink and spoke about a lot of stuff and he even tried to make clear mens way of thinking. And he explained what I did wrong and believe me I'll never do the same mistakes again. He just cheered me up and I felt better when I went back to work. I mean he's right, I can still follow my dreams and make them come true! Though it's gonna be in a different way. But who says that's worse?
Working was exhausting. I don't know why all people go to the library these days. Why can't they just watch TV or something like that? It wasn't easy to bother other people with stupid mails cos every minute another reader stood in front of me and wanted something.

Okay folks, that's enough of my poor life. Speak to you next time!

Song of the Day: Violent Femmes - Blister in the Sun
3.1.06 19:15


Reanimation of Memories


Many days since we spoke last time, so I really have to write a longer entry. Maybe I should better have a look back at the passed days...

Wednesday:
It was my brother's 30th birthday and I didn't make to much because of my sick tummy and fever, that's why I stayed at home that day.

Thursday:
I didn't feel much better so I went to the doctor. He wasn't happy about my health and gave me some medicine. In the evening I went to Stefan's birthday party. I also met his new girlfriend Natascha. A really beautiful girl. It was a pretty nice evening and though we had a lot of alcohol nobody really wanted to drink. We sat together and remembered old days, discussed relationships and just enjoined that meeting until 4 o'clock in the morning.

Friday:
I can't hardly remember what I did the whole day... Yes, I spent the afternoon with my bunnies and then Oli picked me up and we went to Frank and Claudi. Of course we watched another three episodes of LOST. It's always fun doing that with them...

Saturday:
The day started with Kaah and me going to IKEA. Kaah wanted to buy a cupboard for her bathroom and I needed new shelves for my books. We arrived at IKEA at 9:30 and the parking area was full... So was IKEA itself and the restaurant so we both pushed our way through and ended with a carriage full of packets. So far so good... Until then we had no problems but there should be a big one: How should we get all those big packets into Kaah's car? She has a Ford Puma, which is not really made for transports like this. We pushed and pulled, pulled and pushed and didn't get all packets inside it. We called her boyfriend and Frank and asked for advice. At least we did what Frank told us and unwrapped the components. After that we needed to get rid of the empty packet. So we took them back to IKEA and left them on the carriage... And then we drove off. It wasn't easy as I sat in the back. I couldn't even fasten my seatbelt because of all the wood and by every bend Kaah and I had to take hold of the planks. What a luck the police didn't see us...
Later that day I started to change and renew my rooms before I went to spent another funny evening with Claudi until 3 o'clock...

Sunday:
I slept very, very long... And what did I do until now? Continued changing my room with a little help from Kr?mel and Cookie. Later I'll go to Frank and Claudi... Again.
I think it must seem boring to everyone to read that I spend so much time with them. But I like that and they really help me to get over the whole thing with Seba.
Don't know, but this is what I want to do...


Song of the Day: Sting - Fields of Gold
8.1.06 16:05


Living in the cold


This is exactly what I do since yesterday because my fucking heater gave up his fucking life and that really fucked me.
Sorry for that, I know that I normally don't use words like this but at the moment I'm sitting here and have a damn cold. My fingers are shaking and even my poor Ninis stick together and don't want to move.
The big problem is that I don't have a central heating up here, just the heater which got energy by a socket. So yesterday something went wrong, the heater's cable went too hot and the fuse smashed. We already bought a new heater but it's a much smaller and it doesn't really warm up the room.
I pray for winter's end...

Just a little girl's talk about "Real love" and what girls really want:

Eileen (10:45 PM) :
Kennst den Film noch?

Saoirse (10:45 PM) :
Ja, den kenne ich. Er ist nichts besonderes, ich bin nichts besonderes...

Eileen (10:45 PM) :
...aber zusammen sind wir etwas.


Song of the Day: The Corrs - Summer sunshine
10.1.06 22:51


Let me take you by the hand and lead through the Streets of London...



Just follow follow me to the Streets of London!

Get into the taxi and see it yourself! from Westminster Bridge to Borough Market, from Piccadilly Circus to Bar Italia, from Covent Garden to Buckingham Palace or from Tower Bridge to Spitalfields Market...


Song of the Day: Pearl Jam - I am mine
11.1.06 21:55


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